Recently, I discovered that my husband has been using adult chat rooms online and seems to have been communicating in sexually explicit ways with other people. When I challenged him, he was embarrassed and then defensive saying it was just harmless flirting and that he had not gone over any line. I still feel really unhappy about what he has done. I feel a bit betrayed and worry about whether I can trust him. There is a big difference between a person occasionally viewing pornography with the knowledge and even involvement of their partner to a full-blown betrayal and using adult websites to start affairs with other people. Like many problems, it can start innocently at first, with a person visiting sexually titillating sites perhaps out of boredom or a seeking escapism but then it can escalate to other behaviours, such as directly communicating with other people online and over time can become addictive and harmful. You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings. To move forward, it is important that you continue to talk to your husband and try to understand the extent of his difficulties and what the underlying issues are for him.
Relationships Do long-term, no-strings sex arrangements always work? Can you have sex along with someone for years without dropping the L-bomb or calling what you allow a relationship? That way, if I die before I finish I appreciate how it comes out. That, my friend, is a dark side. Designed for Rachel, a bisexual woman in her early 30s, the answer is an enthusiastic yes, yes, yes! I assume you have to be quite expressively mature to be able to acknowledge something for what it is, devoid of trying to turn it into a bite more, or denigrate it for not being something it is not.
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