Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability. We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. Were they too controlling? Did they make you feel a way you felt in your past?
Sternberg suggests that there are three central components of love: passion, intimacy, after that commitment. Love relationships vary depending arrange the presence or absence of all of these components. Passion refers en route for the intense, physical attraction partners air toward one another. Intimacy involves the ability the share feelings, personal thoughts and psychological closeness with the erstwhile.
Although the reasons we fall in adoration are often a mystery, the reasons we stay in love are a good deal less elusive. There may be denial such thing as the perfect affiliate, but an ideal partner can be found in someone who has industrial themselves in certain ways that attempt beyond looks, charms and success. Even if we each seek out a aspect set of qualities that is uniquely meaningful to us alone, there are certain psychological characteristics both you after that your partner can strive for so as to make the relationship much more apt for lasting success. To truly become adult up means recognizing and resolving ahead of schedule childhood traumas or losses, and after that understanding how these events influence our current behaviors. Therefore the ideal affiliate is willing to reflect on their past. They possess a maturity so as to comes from being emotionally emancipated as of their family of origin. They allow developed a strong sense of autonomy and autonomy, having made the emotional shift from boy to man before girl to woman.