This site is no longer being updated. I felt irrational anger toward him for showing up to town and innocently, unwittingly enabling one of my close guy friends to get back with a toxic ex — just before he was set to fly back to the West Coast and completely avoid the aftermath. I also noticed he had the well-timed wit that all my womanizing exes had shared. But I do remember that he made me laugh in spite of myself and that a seed of something was planted that night. I came to recognize his character, emotional intelligence and kindness even later. He never made me wait or wonder, though, for the record. Not like all those exes I mentioned. To get a flavor of the many shades on that spectrum, I asked women in thriving relationships what they felt when they met and started to get to know their current partners. I walked through the lobby and into the bar, sort of looking around for a guy sitting alone, and then in the back room I saw a dark-haired man on a bench looking up at me with sort of a sly look on his face.
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