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Any woman who's used any kind of dating app has been confronted with this most bemusing question, posed by what we can only imagine are men who have had wood for so dangerously long they've begun to experience brain death. I'm talking about messaging exchanges that go something like this: Gentleman: Hi, I was hoping we'd match. You're cute. What are you up to tonight? Not even Dikembe Motumbo! Don't be a mortifying glandular spaz.

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