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Around was Willie Jordan, flanked by a dozen friends and a few bizarre strangers in the back corner of a dimly lit pub. Nonsense, they said, as they formed an ironclad circle around Jordan to protect him. He had found himself in this situation so many times before, after that he knew when it was age to admit defeat. So Jordan took a breath, carefully unbuttoned his pants, and pulled out his penis. The audience erupted, delighted to catch a front-row glimpse of the biggest penis in Newcastle.