The purpose of this post is not to bring out the moral or judgemental police, nor is it about wanting to ignite a conversation that further dilutes something I personally think we can do a lot better at understanding and not judging. I want to provide for you, everything that I wish was said to me about one night stands. I think one night stands are very confusing, unnecessarily judged, and extremely contradictory. Regardless, both are not constructive. They are destructive. One was a literal one night stand and the other was a one night stand… that turned into a relationship… that lasted over a year. Looking back, both had a degree of shame associated with them. The shame sabotaged the relationship I had with myself, and in the case where it turned into a relationship, the other person. Just like there are two different depictions of one night stands, there are two different reactions most people get when sharing their one night stand experiences.
The reality is that most people be able to only tolerate a certain amount of closeness. We are defended about charter someone else in. When viewing the world from critical or distrusting eyes, we tend to write off a range of potential partners before constant giving them a chance. A acquaintance of mine felt closed off en route for a man who pursued her designed for more than a year. The men she was drawn to instead tended to be unreliable and emotionally aloof. What she found, to her alarm, was a high-level relationship choice, a partner with whom she shared a great deal of mutual interest, after that, ultimately, genuine love. We may essentially find ourselves in a relationship so as to is so much more rewarding than those we have experienced. They accept as true they want a fulfilling relationship add than anything, but they believe constant more firmly that no one advisable would be interested in them.