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Like the center of a black hole, my body attracts every good deed from across the universe to the foot of my wheelchair. They look down, pull their bag or their child closer to them, draw their legs up to their chest as I roll by. What damage can a tiny fly do? But then why do I feel like tearing down the house every time I hear its familiar buzz? Like the folks who try to do me a favor by keeping me separate from this disabled body of mine: All I see when I look at you is a beautiful woman. Taussig, around age 5, in Manhattan, Kans. Jess Dugan for TIME I think I understand how it happens: if you live in a community where disability is framed as tragic and inferior, then claiming not to see that so-called defect feels like a favor. We try to extract the disability from the person, because we think disability is ugly, and the rules tell us this separation is nice.

Assembly the adjustment Adjusting to life along with a disability can be a arduous transition. You are still in be in charge of of your life and there are many ways to improve your autonomy, sense of empowerment, and outlook. A good number of us expect to live elongate, healthy lives. And you are not alone. Millions of people have traveled this road before you the CDC estimates that 1 in 5 Americans is disabled and found ways en route for not just survive, but thrive. You can, too. Learn to accept your disability It can be incredibly arduous to accept your disability. Acceptance be able to feel like giving in—throwing in the towel on life and your coming. But refusing to accept the actuality of your limitations keeps you at a complete loss.

Apparently, neither were other patrons. This account is consistent with what many disabled people say they experience. The Being Rights Commission says that almost 60 per cent of all claims allude to disability as the basis for acumen. People with disabilities are routinely denied the rights we all know they are entitled to. Disability is a sensitive topic. Fear of saying the wrong thing prevents people from saying anything at all, and makes us avoid having important conversations about disability. This avoidance in turn creates the kind of toxic environment that leads to situations such as the individual described above. But they are a person either way.

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