One of the most common questions in my e-mail is some variation on this: How do I find women to have cybersex with? People still seem to believe the internet is full of millions of lonely, socially inept dweebs desperately masturbating with other lonely, socially inept dweebs pretending to be porn stars. I suppose I can't blame them. Few writers bother to look beyond the fear to find other stories about sex in virtual spaces. And what television news program wants to report on normal people having a great time visiting and flirting and possibly sharing orgasms -- normal people who then log off and go about the rest of their normal lives? It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity. Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort.
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