Naked ambition: the business of pleasure

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Reader, I have to break it to you: life does not always imitate art. Yes, I, too, ate myself a second backside in Italy and witnessed prayer in India but in Indonesia, at no time did I meet an Argentinised Javier Bardem and Billy Crudup wasn't warming the bed, waiting for me to get home from my travels. On the romance front, I got dealt lisping silk sellers, excitable rickshaw drivers and casually copulating Balinese monkeys. Watch the preview Mind you, I am not a skinny, depressed New York woman who has religious epiphanies on her bathroom floor telling her to move to Third World countries to find herself and make a pot of gold on a book-and-movie deal in the process. That particular feature at the end of the rainbow continues to elude me, as does Billy, despite the countless letters.

Altogether Malcolm Day wishes people would ban calling him a porn king. Certainly, he is a mass-marketer of helium balloon dolls, fake-fur handcuffs and glow-in-the-dark delicate lubricant. But porn king? What benevolent of job description is that? By 46, Day is a fit, brusquely dressed man with centre-parted dark beard swept back from his face. All the rage photographs, he can look slick after that devil-may-care - like a porn emperor, in fact - but when I meet him, he has the assiduous air of a hard-working businessman. That's all we ever hear from our customers.

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